Develop a Discipleship System
Spiritual Practices and Community Engagement for Today: Finding and Engaging Third Spaces
By Bryan Tener
Sacred in the Everyday
In the rhythms of daily life, most people spend their time in three types of places: home (first space), work (second space), and the communal gathering places in between—what sociologists call "third spaces." These third spaces include coffee shops, gyms, parks, barbershops, community centers, and even dog parks—places where people naturally gather, where relationships are formed, and where trust is built over time.
For the church, third spaces are fertile ground for relational ministry, spaces where we can practice incarnational presence—being with people, rather than trying to draw them into church buildings. The challenge, however, is that presence in these spaces requires a different posture from traditional church outreach efforts. Instead of organizing programs, hosting events, or inviting people to come to us, we are sent out to show up, listen, and join in the everyday lives of our neighbors.
If we are serious about engaging the community in meaningful ways, we must ask:
- Where do people already gather?
- What would it look like to be present there—not as a church leader, but simply as a follower of Jesus?
- How might God already be at work in those spaces, long before we arrive?
Jesus and Third Spaces: Ministry in the Everyday
Jesus spent very little time confined to religious spaces. His ministry happened on the move, in homes, in public gathering places, and along the way.
- By the Seashore – Jesus called his disciples while they were fishing (Mark 1:16-20), meeting them in their everyday workplace.
- At a Well – Jesus engaged in deep spiritual conversation at a common gathering place where people came to draw water (John 4:1-26).
- In Homes – Jesus frequently dined in people’s homes, including the homes of tax collectors and sinners (Luke 19:1-10).
- At Festivals and Markets – Jesus taught in open spaces where people gathered, rather than expecting them to come to him (John 7:37-38).
This pattern of ministry reveals a simple but profound truth: Jesus met people where they already were. He didn’t require them to enter a synagogue first. He stepped into their world. The church today must do the same, learning to build relationships in third spaces rather than expecting people to enter the church to encounter Christ.
Practical Strategies for Engaging Third Spaces
Engaging in third spaces requires intentionality. It is not about taking over a space but becoming part of the fabric of that space, showing up regularly, and allowing relationships to develop naturally. Here are three key strategies:
1. Develop a Consistent Presence
People notice consistency. When we frequent the same spaces regularly, we become familiar faces, and familiarity builds trust. This could mean:
- Choosing a local coffee shop to work or read several times a week.
- Going to the same gym at the same time of day, engaging in casual conversation.
- Attending community events, farmers’ markets, or sports leagues where you can meet people informally.
Being present in a third space is not about forcing interactions but allowing relationships to develop over time without an agenda.
2. Learn the Rhythms of Each Space
Every third space has its own culture, dynamics, and unspoken rules. The way people interact in a coffee shop is different from the way they engage in a park or a gym. Rather than rushing to “do ministry,” observe first:
- What conversations naturally happen here?
- Who seems to be a leader or connector in this space?
- What needs or opportunities for connection emerge?
Paying attention allows you to see where God is already moving and how you might participate.
3. Be Open to Interruptions and Conversations
Jesus' most powerful encounters happened through interruptions—moments when someone reached out, asked a question, or expressed a need. When we are present in third spaces, we should be ready to engage with people when natural opportunities arise.
- If someone starts a conversation, be fully present rather than distracted.
- If you notice someone who seems lonely or struggling, be willing to offer a simple “How’s your day going?”
- If a friend or acquaintance talks about a challenge, respond with something like, “Would you be open to me praying for you?”
Ministry in third spaces is not about preaching or having all the answers but about cultivating relationships that make room for faith conversations when the time is right.
Building Relationships in Third Spaces Over Time
Consistency matters. Trust is not built in a single conversation but over weeks, months, and years of faithful presence. Churches that encourage their members to embed themselves in third spaces will find that these spaces become sacred places of mission—not through structured programs but through everyday interactions.
Questions for Reflection:
- Where do I already spend time where I could be more intentional about relationships?
- What third spaces exist in my community where I could develop a consistent presence?
- How can I slow down to notice where God is at work in these spaces?
Consistency matters. Trust is not built in a single conversation but over weeks, months, and years of faithful presence.
Spiritual Practice: Slowing Down to Be Present
John Mark Comer, in Practicing the Way, teaches that hurry is the enemy of love. When we are constantly rushing, we fail to see the people around us. One of the most significant barriers to effective ministry in third spaces is being too busy to notice others.
A Simple Practice for Slowing Down:
1. Take a Walk without a Destination
- Choose a place where people gather (a park, downtown area, or shopping district).
- Walk slowly, without a phone, agenda, or need to get anywhere.
- Notice the people around you—their expressions, interactions, and needs.
- Ask: “Where do I see God at work? Who is God inviting me to notice today?”
2. Be Interruptible
- When in a third space (coffee shop, gym, etc.), resist the urge to be absorbed in your phone or laptop.
- Be open to eye contact, conversations, and unplanned interactions.
- Allow interruptions to become opportunities for connection.
3. End the Day with a Reflection Question:
- “Did I notice anyone today who might have needed a kind word, a prayer, or simply someone to listen?”
Spiritual Practice: The “One-Minute Pause” Practice
When we feel ourselves rushing or feeling rushed as we move through the day, we need to pause, take a breath, and calm our minds and bodies. Unfortunately, it is not always easy to catch ourselves in the midst of the rush. We can cultivate slowness into our day by creating intentional breaks to reset our awareness of God’s presence. The “one-minute pause” is a simple practice to cultivate slowness and attentiveness in third spaces.
How to Practice the One-Minute Pause:
1. Before entering a third space (coffee shop, gym, park, or workplace), pause for one full minute.
2. Take a deep breath and silently pray:
- “God, help me to be present.”
- “Slow me down so I can see what you see.”
- “Open my heart to whomever you place in front of me.”
3. Step into the space with a posture of presence rather than distraction.
This small act interrupts the hurried mindset and reorients us toward seeing people rather than tasks. Over time, this practice recalibrates our awareness, allowing us to notice opportunities for connection that we would otherwise miss.
By intentionally slowing down, we make space to engage relationally, becoming more available to God’s movement in the world around us.
The church’s mission does not begin inside its walls. It begins where people already live, work, and gather. Third spaces aren’t just casual hangouts; they’re places where God is present and working, even before we show up. The challenge for us is to cultivate an unhurried, relational presence—to see coffee shops, parks, and gyms not as neutral spaces but as sacred ground where lives are shaped, and the love of Jesus can be embodied in real, tangible ways.
The invitation is simple: step into these spaces, not as a church leader or volunteer, but as a disciple of Jesus, willing to listen, love, and be present. As we do, we will discover that the mission of God is not something we bring to the community—it is something we join so that the world will be transformed through God’s love for life. Next month, we will explore the gifts of the community, the congregation, and gratitude. If you have any questions or comments, please contact Bryan Tener at [email protected].
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