My Family: A Faith Community?

From the time I was a child until my parents were in their 80s and moved into an apartment, in our family kitchen we had a "chicken dish." We designated this old, beat-up pan as a place to collect the "scraps" from the kitchen that could be thrown into the caged-in area beside the garage where we kept chickens. And later, when we no longer had chickens, the special container gathered scraps that could be used in our compost pile. But the "chicken dish" remained as a symbol of an earlier time when we had chickens and rabbits and other animals. It reminded us of all the stories from that time and place. Even as we remembered our struggles, the stories around the chicken dish reminded us of the ways in which we shared responsibilities and cared for one another.

Families are formed and re-formed by the symbols, rituals, and stories that are told and re-told through time.

What kind of formation is taking place within our church families and households? Are we intentional in the ways in which Christian faith formation happens or does not happen in the places where we live?

Our heritage is one in which faith formation in families and households has primacy. Judaism is known for its "table spirituality." This is particularly clear for us as Christians, as we remember the time of Passover and the Seder meal. The story of Passover is rehearsed at the meal. The children are given questions to ask so that they, too, can rehearse and know the stories of the ways in which God has been with the people throughout history.

The Book of Joshua includes the story in which the people crossed through the Jordan River. God asked that a representative of each of the twelve tribes take a stone from the Jordan as they passed through. The instructions were to place them together in a pile on the other side. People began to ask, "Why?" And Joshua responded, "When your children ask their parents in time to come, 'What do these stones mean?' then you shall let your children know, 'Israel crossed over the Jordan here on dry ground' " (Joshua 4:21-22).

Symbols and rituals are important in the larger gathering of the congregation, the "communal church." And they are important in the life of the scattered people of God as they are gathered in families and households as the community of faith, the "domestic church." Both the settings where we gather as a corporate body to worship, study, and equip ourselves for ministry and the places where we live from day to day are sacred places where we struggle together to learn what it means to be a Christian community and to live together in the name of Christ.

In many homes there is a place where one or more people gather for prayer, meditation, and centering on God through Jesus Christ. There may be a candle, a crucifix, a picture, an art object, or a stone that helps people focus on God. It may be a place where one can look out a window at nature and the world God created, or at the world humans have fashioned — either being a way we can listen for God's word to us.

In what ways do we engage each other in telling and re-telling the stories of scripture, of faith in tradition, of faith in our own lives? In a recent conference, a grandmother said that her extended family gathers each Wednesday evening to share a meal. They begin by holding hands and telling something for which they are grateful. Even her two-year-old grandson now rushes to the table and reaches out to hold the hands of one of his family. Another mother described how, when her children bring concerns home, they talk about the concerns and close the conversation with prayer. Thus, prayer becomes a part of everyday living and everyday decision making. Many families and households are trying to recapture time together to share joys, concerns, and prayer.

What difference would it make if families participated in table spirituality at home, especially at the "high" times of the Christian year? What if, during Advent, we used the Advent wreath, prayers, and scripture, including the scriptures of Christmas, around our tables? In your home, how is Christmas remembered and rehearsed as the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, God with us? During Lent, Holy Week, and Easter, how do we rehearse the Christian stories "around the table"? We celebrate and remember with the larger community of faith, but we are also a place of faith in the home where we live. How do we form and re-form faith around the high holy days in our everyday, sacred places?

In the ordinary time between the special holy days of the Christian year, as we participate in table spirituality or gather in other ways, how do we join with the grandmother and her extended family in remembering and giving thanks for God's gifts in our lives? How do we form our discipleship in ways that, as families and households, we choose ways to reach out to God's people and God's world together?

If we are not intentional about forming faith in those everyday, sacred places, we may eventually form a dichotomy between what we say we believe when we gather as a corporate body of Christ and what we actually live out in our day-to-day lives. What a difference it would make if we understood the places in which we live to be domestic church, sacred places where we invite and recognize the presence of the One who wishes to form and reform our lives so we can more fully participate with God in the transformation of God's world.