Called by Name, Not by Role: Discerning Purpose for a Life of Adaptive Vocation

It’s common at a dinner party or community gathering to be asked, “So, what do you do?” Most of us respond with our job title or daily responsibilities. We might say, “I teach,” or “I work in healthcare,” or “I’m a pastor.” It’s a fair question, but the answers often don’t get to the heart of who we are.

When I lead workshops or coaching groups, I will sometimes use an exercise I picked up on a podcast. It’s a simple, but profound exercise called “The Dinner Party.” You answer the question, “What do you do?” three times, and you’re not allowed to repeat anything you said before. The first round is about your tasks. In the second round, you move deeper into your gifts, training, and lived experience that enable you to do those tasks. And the third round? That’s the big one. You’re invited to name your purpose in about twelve or fewer words.

The first time I did the exercise, I gained some clarity about my purpose: “I create space so that others and I have the opportunity to learn and grow.”

That sentence has traveled with me ever since. Whether I’m coaching CrossFit, preaching or teaching, leading a retreat or a workshop, or having coffee with someone, I can return to it. My role may shift; the context may change, but my purpose holds steady.

Reclaiming Vocational Discernment

Vocational discernment is one of the church’s most needed and underdeveloped practices. Often, vocational discernment has been treated as a narrow path leading primarily to ordained ministry. But the biblical and Wesleyan vision of vocation is much broader: all people are gifted and called by God to participate in the work of healing, justice, and transformation, wherever they are.

In a world marked by disruption—economic, political, and social—those who know their purpose can adapt across roles, locations, and seasons. If your identity is tethered to a job title or institutional role, you risk spiritual disorientation when change inevitably comes. But if you know your purpose, you carry a compass, not a map.

Biblical and Theological Grounding

Scripture affirms that our identity begins with God’s voice, not our résumé. Isaiah 43:1 (NRSVUE ) says, “I have called you by name; you are mine.” In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul reminds us that the Spirit distributes gifts for the common good, not for status, but for service. In our United Methodist tradition, baptism is the foundation of vocation, not ordination.

John Wesley believed every Christian was called to a life of holiness and service. The means of grace were not just for personal growth but for equipping the people of God to participate in God’s mission in the world. This means vocation is not about hierarchy; it’s about faithfulness.

A Tool for Purpose Discovery: The Dinner Party Exercise

Here’s how you can try this with a small group, leadership team, or discipleship group, offering a few minutes between each round:

• Round One—Tasks: Ask, “What do you do?” Participants respond with their daily tasks, responsibilities, or job titles.
• Round Two—Gifts and Formation: Ask again, “What do you do?”  Without repeating responses from Round One, participants share the training, gifts, and experiences that equip them to do those tasks.
• Round Three—Purpose: Ask, “What do you do?” a final time. Without repeating responses from the first two rounds, participants respond with the underlying purpose that connects all those roles.

This simple exercise creates space for deeper insight. It’s not about getting the correct answer; it’s about noticing the thread God has been weaving through people’s lives,  those moments of joy, hope, truth, beauty, and goodness in work and life. 

Naming my purpose has helped me lead more freely, preach and teach more clearly, and be more intentional in learning from others. 

The Church’s Role in Purpose-Driven Discipleship

What if the church became a place where people regularly discerned how to live their purpose, not just whether they should become clergy or fill a committee role? What if our discipleship systems included space for listening to one another’s stories and naming the Spirit’s work in our vocations, both paid and unpaid, inside and outside the walls of the church?

When people live out their purpose in neighborhoods, classrooms, hospitals, nonprofits, grocery stores, and city councils, the church expands. Evangelism becomes more than invitational; it becomes incarnational. In a time when so much feels uncertain, this kind of rootedness is not just helpful; it’s holy.

The church has a vital opportunity to live into the vision of the “priesthood of all believers” by equipping people to embody their faith in tangible, transformative ways. This could include participating in the public square through advocacy and social action, engaging in policy discussions, or standing with marginalized communities. It also includes becoming involved in initiatives that foster new Christian communities, such as Fresh Expressions of church that meet in cafés, gyms, or online spaces, intentionally reaching diverse groups who may not connect with the traditional models of church. 

Most simply and powerfully, it means embodying the gospel in everyday interactions at work, in the classroom, or while running errands, bearing witness to Christ through how we listen, serve, and lead in our daily lives. For what purpose has created within you and how are you living that out as a follower of Jesus?