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On Wondering with Adults

Most religious educators are familiar with the use of discussion questions in adult religious education settings, but might not be accustomed to wondering with adults.

Both are valuable tools, but sometimes one is more appropriate than the other for a particular topic or setting. Combining the two can add interest and depth to a session. Experience will help the facilitator know when to use which tool.

Below is a set of guidelines to help explain "wonderings" as a facilitation tool. Some positive examples of wonderings will be offered along with negative ones (which are not really wonderings at all).

  1. "Wonderings" (statements that begin with "I wonder") are not as much about questioning of as about mutual wondering with. An invitation to wonder must have integrity. When a facilitator says "I wonder . . .," that person must actually be wondering, not "fishing" for a particular answer, and not using a question to vent, to express an opinion, or to veil further instruction.
    Negative example: I wonder how you live into the reality that difference can be a blessing and not just a challenge.

    Positive example (true wondering): I wonder how genuine differences within our congregation have challenged or enriched you in recent months.
  2. A wondering is open-ended and relevant to the purpose of the session and the participants' experience. It is not a test of knowledge or comprehension, but something that moves all in the direction of entering the content and the participants' lived experience more deeply. The facilitator cannot anticipate the responses to wonderings. There is room for surprise and reflection.
    Negative example: I wonder if you are aware of how many one-time visitors we have had in the past year.

    Positive examples: I wonder what conditions help you to feel safe and welcome when in a new environment. [Pause for responses.] I wonder what helps, or would help, you to feel integrated and safe within our faith community.
  3. When using wonderings, each response is welcomed and affirmed as the fruit of reflection, imagination and/or personal experience. The facilitator assumes goodwill and sincerity unless given obvious indications otherwise. There are no right or wrong responses, only sincere or insincere ones. Although some responses may seem peculiar or off-task, each response is received with respect. Facilitators allow themselves the possibility of growing into greater understanding or appreciation of each response. Contemplative pacing tends to foster deeper wondering; silence need not be feared.

  4. The facilitator avoids guiding participants to his or her own pre-conceived conclusions through the use of pseudo-wondering because any manipulation can create resistance and destroy the trust needed for open, honest sharing.

  5. The order of wonderings is important. When a summarizing or particularly pointed wondering comes first, it can sound like the facilitator is testing to see whether participants got the point of a presentation. This can stifle wondering and shut down open sharing. This kind of wondering can, however, work quite well when it comes second or third in order.
    Negative example: We have heard three people this morning share their stories about journeying towards inclusion. I wonder what we can conclude from their testimony.

    Positive examples: Today we have heard three people share about their journeys toward full inclusion in our congregation.

    [first wondering:] I wonder what you most appreciate about the sharing you have heard.

    [second wondering:] I wonder what you have heard that feels particularly important to you right now, either in your own journey or in our corporate one.

    [third wondering:] I wonder what speaks to you with particular power or grace as a member of this community.

    [fourth wondering:] I wonder what we might do as a faith community to be more welcoming and inclusive.


  6. Participants often have important questions and wonderings of their own, and it is important to make space for them. Sometimes what participants raise might threaten to derail even the most careful preparations of the facilitator, but because we want to always be open to how the Spirit is working in the group and because we genuinely care about everyone's experience, it is important to not be too rigid in one's group facilitation or time management. An unexpected wondering arising from the group could well become the most important part of a session.


Acknowledgement: These guidelines took inspiration from the children's religious education work of Sonya Stewart and Jerome Berryman. See Young Children and Worship and The Complete Guide to Godly Play, Volume 1.

This article is from the National Council of Churches, USA Education and Leadership Resources Commission Learning Moment (June 2010). Used by permission.

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