Almost Alone

Do you ever feel alone in the middle of the congregation in worship? or in the middle of the choir? There is one occasion in most worship services where this is the case for me, as it was again this past week. For me, it is almost always when we pray together the Lord's Prayer.

Some years ago I gave up using the traditional version in favor of the ecumenical version (no. 894 in The United Methodist Hymnal), which includes, "Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us." That line is never a problem because it always gets quickly swallowed up by all those "trespasses." But the next lines, "Save us from the time of trial and deliver us from evil. For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours now and for ever," result in my almost whispering them under my breath because they are so different from the traditional text. And I almost never hear anyone else using the same version I use.

But last week, sitting in the Upper Room Chapel for our weekly Wednesday morning service, a co-worker sitting next to me unexpectedly used the same version. It was so different hearing the same words from a voice other than my own. I became aware that my own voice was a bit stronger because of it. I feel no need to try to get others to adopt the ecumenical text, but sharing it with someone unexpectedly in worship made me feel not quite so alone. All of a sudden it was two of us rather than just one of us.

I can think of other times when a worshipper might feel isolated or alone:

• when personal circumstances or emotions remain private by choice. How often, I wonder, are we sitting next to someone in worship who is in pain or turmoil inside but has a smile on the outside?
• when you begin to sing a familiar hymn from memory, only to hear very different words or phrases coming from those singing from the screen or hymnal. I still stumble over language changes and stanza abbreviation in "Be Thou My Vision" from the familiar four stanzas I cherish.
• when in a congregation that does or says things that are familiar to themselves but not to a visitor and there is no instruction or printed resource provided. How strange, confusing, and intimidating might be various practices in Holy Communion, including the simple acts of moving in and out of the pews, kneeling, being dismissed or not, knowing what to do with intinction, let alone the liturgy and musical responses.
• when changes in worship or musical style occur without notice or consultation. A new pastor or musician can bring sudden and radical changes. There can be an accompanying sense of abandonment on the part of worshippers.
• when singing hymns. Yes, despite the presence of an organ and piano; or a band, a choir, or praise team; a leading soloist; microphones; a song leader directing; printed words on screen; and having selected the right music — or maybe because of all of these things — worshippers can still feel isolated. They hear the instruments and choir, but they fear the sound of their own voice, or that others will hear them singing and the inadequacy of their song.

As in most churches, we sing the Doxology weekly in my own church in Nashville. When I first visited this congregation, I was struck by its adoption of inclusive language for the Doxology, substituting "Praise God" for "Praise Him" in lines two and three of no. 95 in The United Methodist Hymnal, also reflected in the language of the more modern no. 94 adaptation. That change was probably a gradual one, most likely beginning with only one or two individuals, and today it is nearly unanimous (and it is printed in the bulletin). But at some point in its past, one or two individuals probably felt quite alone in singing it that way.

I am aware that my preference for the ecumenical text is my own choice, and that my sense of isolation comes as a result of that choice and not anything that is imposed by the congregation. I am also aware that I could very well pray my version louder and stronger if I chose and probably would not be thought of as odd or divisive, but I choose to continue my practice quietly rather than assertively. But what about the last four of the five other examples I've given above? How do we avoid making worshippers feel alone or isolated when these occur? And what should we do about it?